Do Not Awaken Love

Much of my spare time over the past month has been spent reading and studying about relationships in the 21st century and what the Bible says about them. I’ll be honest – it’s been a weird month. For Sunday School material we’ve been teaching the True Love Project which features some very intense stories about sexual intimacy within the confines of marriage. Each week has two videos so I watch at least 30 minutes of someone else teaching the topic.

And then I was tasked with writing a post on Biblical Manhood for a separate writing project. I braved the rickety wooden stairs into the attic to find my high school journal. In it was the list of character traits that I prayed God would be instilling in my future spouse, should He see fit for me to marry one day. That assignment led me down the path of dating a Godly man even further. Then to comply with DCS (Department of Children’s Services) rules, Kevin and I had to take a 3 hour class on fostering children who have been sexually abused. Meanwhile, I read Aziz Ansari’s book Modern Romance (this is NOT a recommendation) about relationships today and why finding the “right” person can be so difficult.

So where have all these thoughts on relationships and physical intimacy led me over the past month? What one verse would I give to sum up my thoughts? It would be this repeating refrain from Song of Solomon:

Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and the wild does of the field:
do not stir up or awaken love
until the appropriate time.
Song of Solomon 2:7 and 3:5 (and 8:4 paraphrased)

Our society has created comfortable settings for us to stir up love in all the wrong times, places, and with the wrong people. Much of our entertainment glamorizes these casual relationships and helps sustain a pattern of infidelity and lack of commitment.

Song of Solomon reiterates a truth that resonates throughout the Bible – God created good things for us to enjoy in the right ways. But sin has messed them up. 

In fact, the very first verse of this book says, “Oh, that he would kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is more delightful than wine.” God has created an incredible bond between a husband and wife that He intended as a gift for the two of them.

I have been encouraging young ladies to meditate and pray on this theme from Song of Solomon. “Do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.” One of  my biggest weaknesses that reveals my lack of trust in God comes in the form of taking control. I want to decide when, where, and what will happen rather than enjoy God’s leadership. But God has appointed everything to happen in an appropriate time, and our attempts to force things to happen sooner often land us in sin.

What does God teach you in these verses in Song of Solomon? I would love to hear from you!